What better gift to give yourself this Mother’s Day than a book to help you on this motherhood journey?
Books are self-care
Mother’s Day should include an element of self-care for mom. This can be a grand gesture like a girls’ trip over Mother’s Day weekend or a small gift to yourself that can be woven into your day-to-day life long past Mother’s Day. We already covered giving yourself the gift of a simple skin care routine. If you’ve already incorporated skin care into your day, gift yourself a book instead!
I am fully in my audiobook era. As I’ve mentioned before, I love to listen to audiobooks as I do chores around the house. Putting on an audiobook gives me a reason to enjoy the sometimes soul-sucking activities that have to be done to keep the wheels on the family’s bus. I started my audiobook journey with celebrity memoirs because they were really easy to pay half attention to and they were usually pretty entertaining. Although I still enjoy a celebrity memoir every once in a while (I recently listened to Paris: The Memoir and just wow), I’ve been finding myself picking self-help books more and more. I’m shocked by this turn of events – someone send booze.
Many of the self-help books I find myself drawn to have something to do with motherhood. I like to hear other people’s motherhood journeys, tips on how to make life with children easier, and suggestions on how to parent more effectively. I take nuggets from each book I listen to and incorporate them into my motherhood journey. Hopefully, it’s making me a better parent to my kids and a better friend to myself.
If you’re interested in adding a bit of on-going self-care into your routine starting this Mother’s Day, I encourage you to pick up a book, or do as I do and download an audiobook and hit play while you’re folding the never-ending laundry.
Best Books for Mother's Day
The Lazy Genius Way & The Lazy Genius Kitchen
If you need help prioritizing the 18,000 tasks that comprise motherhood, Kendra Adachi is your girl. Kendra’s driving principle is to “be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don’t” to work smarter, not harder. This principle shapes both of her books and is absolutely lifechanging.
The Lazy Genius Way
The Lazy Genius Way discusses 13 “lazy genius principles” to help you lazy genius your way through life: Decide Once, Start Small, Ask the Magic Question, Live in the Season, Build the Right Routines, Set House Rules, Put Everything in its Place, Let People In, Batch It, Essentialize, Go in the Right Order, Schedule Rest, and Be Kind to Yourself.
The Lazy Genius Kitchen
Kendra’s companion book, The Lazy Genius Kitchen, distills these 13 principles into a 5-step process that can be used in the kitchen, sure, but can also be adopted across every aspect of your life. This process boils down to Prioritize, Essentialize, Organize, Personalize, and Systemize – we are -izing ourselves toward a less stressful life!
I listened to both of these on audiobook, but they were so impactful that I bought physical copies too so I could dog-ear and highlight them to within an inch of their lives. They are important books, friends, and so impactful on my motherhood journey.
Kendra also has a podcast, The Lazy Genius Podcast, a monthly newsletter that I genuinely look forward to reading, and a new book called The Plan that is due out in October 2024. Kendra has infiltrated my life, and I am so glad for it. Let her guide you toward a happier motherhood journey too. I don’t think you’ll regret it!
I’ll Show Myself Out
Sometimes you just need to laugh so you won’t cry. This is especially true in the context of all-consuming motherhood. And sometimes the best laughter comes from commiserating with someone else’s similar struggle. I mean, isn’t that the whole purpose of TikTok and Instagram?
Jessi Klein’s I’ll Show Myself Out is a hilarious (and painfully relatable) collection of essays on this “hero’s journey” we call motherhood. Although I found myself laughing so hard I peed my pants throughout most of the book, I also shed a tear or two at just how seen I felt as I listened to this book. If you want to experience all the emotions of motherhood and be undeniably entertained while folding your laundry, give this one a listen.
How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids, Fair Play & The 5 Love Languages
If parenthood has shaken your relationship with your partner, you are not alone. Basically everyone I know has experienced a shift in their marriage after adding a kid (or two or three). It ain’t easy raising tiny humans, even alongside the person you love the most in the world.
Over the last few years, I have listened to several books on marriage, some of which are specifically targeted at marriage after kids. Of these, three relationship books stand out as helpful, so I hope you’ll give them a listen or read.
How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids
First up is How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids. In this book, Jancee Dunn weaves a self-help book into a memoir of her early parenting years and it’s brilliant. She tells stories of her well-meaning husband and the societal pressures placed on her, the mom while also sharing strategies she has learned from renowned therapists and even an FBI hostage negotiator. You’ll laugh a lot along the way with this one, but you’ll also learn some helpful tips to take away to create a more peaceful and equitable home life.
Fair Play
Next is Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play, which is a great book to read If you have a husband who struggles with conceptualizing the abstract concept of the mental load. In this book, she devises a game that take the unseen “shefault” work of keeping a household with small children running and brings it out into the open. Although the book is focused on the unseen work of women, in practice, it has shone a light on the tasks my husband was taking on in our household that I didn’t appreciate too. If you and your partner are struggling with the invisible load of parenthood, give this book a try!
The 5 Love Languages
Finally in this group, I implore you to read The 5 Love Languages. Gary Chapman observed over his many years as a marriage counselor that people are typically most fluent in one of five love languages – Words of affirmation, Quality time, Receiving gifts, Acts of service, or Physical touch. Finding out your partner’s love language (and your own!) can really help you sustain your marriage through the thick of parenting young children because you will both be speaking in a language that makes the most sense to the other. For example, my love language is undeniably Acts of service, so I tend to show my love to others by doing things for them. These helpful acts done to me are also how I most feel loved. My husband does not speak my same love language, though, so without focused intention, our demonstrations of love to one another can get lost in translation. Read this book to get on the same page with your spouse – it will help you through these rough years.
Good Inside
We all want our kids to be strong, resilient, and emotionally resilient. I’d bet we are also all afraid that we are screwing up on this front.
Enter Dr. Becky Kennedy’s Good Inside. Her approach relies on the concept that we are all good inside, our kids and ourselves. Dr. Becky teaches us to put the parent-child relationship first rather than focusing on behavior – the good behavior will come once the foundation of a solid relationship is built. It is a total 180° from how I was raised, and likely how you were raised as well, but it makes sense. I have begun to incorporate some of her suggestions into my parenting and my kids are responding well. Do we still have tantrums and power struggles? Of course! But I’m confident that my kids know I love them and will always support them, and that’s the most important thing of all.
Cribsheet & The Family Firm
Both Cribsheet and The Family Firm come from the genius mind of Emily Oster, who is, of all things, an economist. She uses data to guide the reader through some of the most common of the many decisions parents have to make as part of raising their children. The goal is to rely on the data so you’re not anxious about every little thing you’re faced with as a parent so you can relax and enjoy the ride of parenthood.
Cribsheet
Cribsheet focuses on the baby and toddler years and covers topics like breastfeeding and potty training.
The Family Firm
The Family Firm focuses on the early school years and the big decisions like what school to send your kids to and whether they should play a sport.
Both of these books left me feeling more confident in the decisions I was making as a parent. Many of the big parenting decisions aren’t black or white but are some shade of gray that you and your coparent have to decide is the right hue for you. These books both helped me stop second guessing my decision to go with charcoal instead of dove gray in one situation and silver rather than steel gray in another. I especially recommend these books if you have a scientific background at all. We like data!
Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself
I don’t know about you, but I struggle with mom guilt. You know, that constant feeling that I’m not enough of a mom for my kids. Crafts aren’t my jam – guilt. I forget show and share – guilt. I need to go to the bathroom – guilt. Forget even thinking about taking a couple of hours to go get a massage or meet a friend for a drink. The guilt is too much.
Dr. Morgan Cutlip’s Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself tries to move us moms beyond the guilt and thrive in motherhood. She teaches that we have to mom ourselves so that we can be the best moms to our kids. This means identifying our needs and truly caring for ourselves just as well as we care for our children.
I must admit, I struggle with this, even after listening to this book. But I’m trying. And I might not have started trying to regain myself and the joy of motherhood without Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself. This is an important book!
I hope you gift yourself a book this Mother’s Day as a little self-care. What mom-related books have you read recently that I should add to my list?