Every mom I know both loves and hates Christmas.
Of course we love the magic of the season, the joy of our children, and the comfort of traditions. What we hate are the extras and the stress placed squarely on our shoulders to make the family’s holiday “perfect.”
Most of the moms that I know shoulder the overwhelming stress of the extras of Christmas. It is often mom who is responsible for shuttling the kids from the Christmas pageant to the neighborhood caroling activity. It is often mom who needs to research and purchase the gifts for everyone from the kids to the garbage man. This is not to say that the dads in our lives don’t pitch in, but Christmas is, by and large, mom’s realm. Which translates to mom’s stress.
I’m willing to bet that I and the other moms I know are not alone in what I love and don’t love about Christmas. So, I put on my thinking cap to brainstorm how I could reduce the hates of Christmas so I could focus on the loves. I already devised a plan for streamlining teacher gifts, but what other Christmas pains can be eased?
I came up with 6 common Christmas mom stressors and tips on how to make them suck less. Without further ado….
1. Cut-out sugar cookies
One word comes to mind when I think about making cut-out sugar cookies: MESS! My counters and floors will inevitably be covered in flour and sticky icing. We will be finding sprinkles in odd places for months. I also expect a healthy number of tears from the children. Broken cookies, fighting over who decorates which cookie, and sticky fingers are all guaranteed to bring on the waterworks. All this mess and emotion, and they don’t really even taste that great. I’d rather just have a good ole chocolate chip to be honest. But the kids like to leave cut-outs for Santa, so they’re unavoidable in my house in the days leading up to Christmas.
Tips
- Use pre-made dough! Ain’t no shame in the Pillsbury game. Just buy the tube of sugar cookie dough, roll it out and proceed as usual. Sure, there will still be some mess from rolling out the dough and icing the baked cookies, but at least you won’t have as many dishes to wash.
- Squeeze bottles for icing. I just learned about this tip this week from my girl Sally, and I have already ordered squeeze bottles from Amazon for this express purpose. For me, the icing is the biggest pain point of cut-outs, so I’m crossing my fingers that these little squeeze bottles save this experience for me. I’m putting a lot of faith in you, squeeze bottles. Don’t let me down!
2. Spirit days at school
Oh, how I dread emails from school excitedly announcing themed spirit days! I am so not the cutesy mom. I’m the comfortable mom. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate a festive sweater or an adorable t-shirt featuring a Christmas tree made of dinosaurs, but I get extremely fatigued by whole weeks of themed dress days. And my kids’ school does 2 weeks at Christmas! That means 9 days of special outfits that I need to plan for 2 kids right at the busiest time of the year. It’s enough to drive any mom mad!
Tips
- Don’t be afraid of loose interpretations of the theme. Reindeer day? A moose is close enough. Holiday sock day? I’m sure that the Paw Patrol celebrates the holidays, so those Marshall socks your kid already has in his drawer will do just fine.
- Liberal use of Amazon Prime. Even with my broad view of each spirit day theme, I will always have at least a hole or two that I can’t fill. That’s where Amazon Prime comes in. You can find something to satisfy even the most off-the-wall spirit day theme, and it will arrive at your door in 48 hours. Thank you, Jeff Bezos!
3. Bizarre gift requests
There’s always one. This year, my nephew takes the prize for the weirdest, most impossible gift request. At their school’s Thanksgiving celebration, I casually asked my nephew what he wanted for Christmas. He looked up at me from his pie and said, in all seriousness, a real-live alligator. I suggested that the family dog would not get along with an alligator, and he should come up with a back-up plan. He was not to be deterred. Just last weekend, he looked Santa dead in the eyes and again requested a real-live alligator. I admire his commitment, but dang!
Tips
- Think outside the box. In my example, there is no way this kid is getting a real-live alligator for Christmas. But I did find an adorable alligator sweater and a very cute indoor putt putt game called Gator Golf.
- Steer the kid toward another gift. People are susceptible to the power of persuasion. Especially kids. Find something you think the kid would love and is much easier to obtain and start talking it up. There is a good chance that the kid will change his mind. This isn’t guaranteed, though, which is why this tip is my second tip for dealing with bizarre gift requests.
4. Blending traditions
You have your childhood Christmas traditions. Your spouse has his childhood Christmas traditions. You want to make new traditions for your kids. One family can’t possibly do them all. How do you decide without making a March Madness style bracket and devastating your mother?
Tips
- Decide on your must dos from each category. That leaves you with 3 top priorities. You probably have some room in December to do a few other things, but only do them when they fit into your schedule without causing heaps of stress.
- Dropping traditions can be hurtful to you, your spouse, and your parents. Be honest with everyone involved about the things that don’t make your top 3. Explain that even if you don’t join in with one tradition this year, it might fit better into the schedule next year. If you are open and honest, there is a much better chance that you will avoid any hurt feelings.
5. Extended family gifts
My spouse’s extended family has struggled over the years to decide on how to handle extended family gifts at Christmas. When I first joined the family, everyone bought for everyone else and it took 3 hours to open presents. There were no kids at that time, so it was often trading gift cards or buying one another appliances we could all afford to buy ourselves. Frankly, it was silly. Then kids joined the family, and I think we’ve landed on only buying for the kids. But I’m never 100% sure. Anyone else have these struggles?
Tips
- If your family includes at least a handful of kids, buy only for them. Your brother who makes 6 figures does not need you to buy him an upgraded robot vacuum, but your nieces and nephews will be thrilled with the Magnatiles you gift them.
- Do a family Secret Santa. Everyone draws a name and buys one present. This way, everyone has something to open and no one feels left out.
- Exchange baked goods instead of gifts. Who doesn’t love a cookie or a pie or loaf cake? If you go this route, just make sure you’re taking dietary considerations into account. It’s rude to gift your gluten free sister-in-law with glutenous goodies.
6. The holiday meal
Hosting the holiday meal is a huge undertaking. No matter your traditions or the size of the party, it’s a lot, especially at this time of year. You have 8,000 things to attend, 4,000 gifts to wrap, and you’re often running to the end of the year at work. Throw in a high-stakes meal, and it could be enough to send you right on over the edge.
Tips
- Don’t take on the entire meal yourself if it’s more than just your immediate family you’re feeding. Ask your guests to bring part of the meal. I have an entire post with tips for hosting the holidays that should help.
- If you want to go one more step toward a chill holiday meal, plan a non-traditional meal. Do a dessert party or heavy hors d’oeuvres if your family is up for shaking it up a bit.
This is truly just the tip of the iceberg. What stressors do you have at the holidays that you’d like to minimize? I see a Part 2 in our future!
I hope these tips help you (and me!) this holiday season. Let’s focus on the loves this Christmas!