Are you newly married or oldly married but just annoyed with your spouse? Don’t sleep on these small things that could save your marriage!
I’m going to let you in on a not-so-secret secret: marriage is hard. Yes, I mean the big parts of marriage like money, trust, parenting, etc., but I also mean the small parts of marriage that stem from just sharing a life with another human being. The small things could push you right over the edge. Luckily, these small things are much easier to handle than the big things.
Of course, this list of small things that could save your marriage shouldn’t be taken as marriage advice. This is just a bit of fun. If you are feeling troubled in your marriage and it’s more than small annoyances with your spouse, please get help from a licensed professional. If you’re just looking to have fewer things to get annoyed about in your daily life, then this list is for you.
Small Things That Could Save Your Marriage
Bedroom & bathroom
Many of my little annoyances happen in the bedroom and bathroom area. These are easy to minimize, if not fully get rid of. My first piece of advice is to start in the bedroom and bathroom when adopting small things that could save your marriage.
King-sized bed
When my husband and I first began to share a bed, we crammed ourselves into a full-sized mattress. Let me tell you, this was not a fun set-up. There was simply not even space for two grown adults in the bed. Pillows were stolen, faces were slapped. It was mayhem. From the full-sized mattress, we upgraded to a Queen bed, which was only marginally better, to be honest. We were still beating each other up as we slept, and waking up mad about it.
When we bought our current house, the time had come to upgrade to a King-sized bed. And let me tell you what, this has been the best thing we have ever done for our relationship. We each typically get fairly good sleep and we aren’t actively mad at one another at 5:00 a.m. If you have the space and the funds to upgrade to a King bed, please do it.
Separate blankets
But the size of the bed isn’t my only bed-related tip to save your marriage. Other than just being cramped in a too-small bed, the other big source of bed conflict is the blanket. I don’t know if you knew this or not, but there are two types of people in the world: hot sleepers and cold sleepers. And they marry one another.
In my marriage, I am the hot sleeper and my husband is the cold sleeper. He is always looking for more blankets. In an effort to keep the blankets he takes by force, he burritos himself so that I cannot reclaim even a square inch. And even though I tend to sleep hot, that doesn’t mean I don’t want any covers. Enter separate blankets. Don’t sleep on separate blankets (but really do!). With separate blankets, everyone can be as warm as they want. Because I’m such a hot sleeper, we handle this by simply adding an extra blanket only on my husband’s side of the bed. It works really well for us!
Skip the bathroom sink drama
Another area of life that can cause a lot of conflict is the bathroom, specifically the bathroom sink. People can be very particular (or not) about how they keep their bathroom sink. Some people like a clear counter, some keep 13 products within easy reach. Some people wipe their sink after every use, some don’t wipe for weeks. Because of these many opportunities for conflict, there are multiple small things that could save your marriage at the bathroom sink alone
Separate sinks
The pinnacle of bathroom success in a married couple is separate sinks. This was my dream, and I not only achieved it, I overachieved. We have separate sink rooms in our bathroom. It’s a strange set-up, but it works for us. I understand that not everyone has the ability to have separate sinks, though, so I have other tips too!
Shaving cape
If you are married to a man who shaves his face and you share a sink with him, let me give you a good gift idea for your next gift giving opportunity: the shaving cape. This contraption catches all those tiny little hairs that would otherwise rain down like confetti on your sink and counter. Then just transfer them easily to the trash can. So simple, yet so effective!
Separate toothpaste tubes
You deserve your own tube of toothpaste. If you like to keep the lid off, you can. Do you roll from the bottom? Not a problem! When you have separate toothpaste tubes, you won’t have to annoy your spouse with your toothpaste preferences, and he or she won’t have to annoy you with his or hers. And you really aren’t spending any extra money.
Hamper
Buy a hamper and have one in a central spot where you and your spouse most often get dressed. Then, just use the hamper. Your dirty clothes don’t belong on the chair in the corner of the room, on the floor next to the bed, or on the floor directly next to the hamper. They belong in the hamper. The health of your marriage thanks me for this tip.
General home
Annoyances in a marriage lurk at home outside of the bedroom and bathroom too. Here are small things that could save your marriage that you can implement in the other rooms of your house.
Food
I don’t know about you, but often when I’m ticked off at my husband, I realize that I’m hungry. I’m not proud of this, but I’m pretty quick to hanger. That means when I’m hungry, I lash out at anyone within striking distance. I just don’t think straight when I’m hungry, and you probably don’t either. That’s why, if you feel yourself getting annoyed or itching to pick a fight with your spouse, stop and ask yourself when you last ate. Then, instead of picking that fight, take your butt to the kitchen and fix yourself a snack. Food is magic, people.
Dishwasher
Was there ever an appliance that caused as many fights as the humble dishwasher? I don’t think so. If you are particular about the dishwasher, you can get annoyed by so many things surrounding the dishwasher. You can get annoyed by your spouse not putting things in the dishwasher, putting things in the dishwasher the “wrong” way, not running the dishwasher, not putting away the clean dishes. The list goes on. But here’s my secret. Let the dishwasher go. It’s there to help you, not to ruin your marriage or the peace of your home.
Limit the Honey Do list
Home ownership is an endless list of to dos. From the small reoccurring tasks like taking out the trash to the big, one-off tasks like installing new shutters, it’s truly never-ending. But if you put absolutely everything you need to do around the house on a honey do list, you’ll upset your partner pretty fast. Instead, make three lists. Things you will do, things you’re asking your spouse to do, and things that are better hired out.
In our house, we tend to hire out the big things that take more specialized skills than either one of us has and the big recurring tasks like lawn maintenance. We then split up the small recurring tasks and the one-off things that we can handle ourselves like furniture assembly or painting the walls. This method allows us to split the work and doesn’t lead to constant overwhelm. We have enough of that raising two small kids.
Help
The quickest way to upset your partner is to sit on the couch with your nose in your phone while your partner is juggling 16 different tasks at once. Sure, we all deserve a little reset in the day, but talk to your partner about scheduling it at an appropriate time. That time is not while your partner is simultaneously trying to make dinner, help with homework, and wipe a tush. If you see your partner struggling, jump in to help. He or she will appreciate it immensely!
Relationship
Sure, you can and should do small things that could save your marriage that relate to external things, but you should also focus on your relationship as a married couple too. Again, this isn’t marriage advice, just things that I find to relieve the tension in my marriage.
Go on a date
Especially if you have young kids, it is so hard to find time to devote to your marriage. You’re constantly being pulled in multiple directions, interrupted, and on edge. That’s why we have found that the only surefire way to get some quality marriage time in is to go on a date. It doesn’t have to be a fancy date or a trip (although that was nice and I 100% suggest it if it’s in the cards for you). You can go on a date without even leaving your house. Just take time for you. If you remember you like each other, you’ll be more likely to put up with the annoyances.
Laugh
It’s hard to be mad when you’re laughing. So, try to make your spouse laugh as much as you can. Catch his or her eye when your kid is being ridiculous. Recall funny moments from your past. Play harmless pranks on one another. However you can add laughter into your life, do it. You won’t regret it.
Don’t complain
I’m saving the hardest thing on my list of small things that could save your marriage for last. And look, I find this hard too. It’s easy to complain to your partner because they know you best. But your spouse has his or her own burdens that he or she is dealing with that adding yours on top could just be too much to bear. Now, I’m not saying that you can’t share your struggles with your spouse. No, no, no. You should share. But do it in a way that isn’t just complaining. Have suggested actions that your spouse can take to help you. Even if it’s just to listen as you vent and give you a hug when you’re finished.
Other posts
Want other marriage-related content? Consider reading these posts:
I hope you’ve found some small things that could save your marriage that you are planning to adopt, or at the very least had a little chuckle. What small things do you do that help your marriage? We can all improve in this area, I think! Please share in the comments below or over on Instagram @sarainseason.
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